A Letter To Myself and Gut Check

Bear with me on this post.  I have really been struggling with myself lately and my quest.  I have the workout routine figured out in a way that I can tolerate and make it through on a daily basis.  I have given myself permission to take a night off from my second workout once a week if needed due to busy schedule or tiredness.  The part I've been struggling with the most lately is the food.  Not that I don't like the food that I'm eating.  I really do like the food I'm eating and have found many new items that I like.  My struggle with my cravings, sometimes giving into those cravings (sometimes with Munkee's knowledge, sometimes not).  Since I allowed myself an indulgence into food I hadn't had for almost two years I found my cravings coming more frequently and my desire to satisfy those cravings raising.  I have found myself sneaking food, sometimes good food and more times then I'd like to admit, sometimes not so good foods.  It's the giving into those cravings that is causing me problems.  I let that door open once and it's like someone has their food in the door and I can't close it.  It's not that I've put weight on, thanks to the second workout but I am not progressing the way I should be to the finish line.  It is time that I stomp on that food and slam the door shut and lock it with multiple locks.  This is not to say I will never have extras but they will be proper extras that are planned and not hidden and eaten in the car.  They will not be rewards.  They will not be to be satisfy an emotional state or stress I'm dealing with.  The will be to try something new or have something I wouldn't make at home (looking at you sushi) and be done in a way that is good for me.  So now I want to write myself a note to keep with me as a reminder of why I'm doing this.  What I didn't like about my life 26 months ago.  How far I've come.  This is me putting on my big girl pants, pulling up my socks and sucking it up buttercup.  No more excuses.

Melissa,

In August 2013 you took part in a fan experience for Murdoch Mysteries, what should have been a super exciting day for you turned quickly sad as you looked through the photos of yourself with the cast and crew you met.  You saw very clearly the effects your current lifestyle was having on you.  You knew if you continued down this path you would put yourself into a very early grave.  You spent the next week planning a new lifestyle for yourself.  Working out an eating and exercise plan that would change with you as you went on your quest to be the healthiest Melissa possible.  Since that time you have amazed yourself with everything you have done.  You workout most days twice a day.  You eat foods  you never would have looked at twice.  You have proven yourself stronger than you even thought possible.  Life stresses will happen.  Your inner voice will try to convince you to revert back to old habits.  You have the strength to deal with the stresses in a healthier way then eating them.  You have the strength to tell those voices to go to hell.  Stumbles will happen but it's how you pick yourself up afterwards that's important.  You have set a goal for yourself and have been working towards that goal for over two years, now is the time to focus, remember why you're doing this and get it done.

You are lucky enough to have an amazing husband who supports you, will help pick you up when you stumble and only wants to see you succeed in your goal.  You have also surrounded yourself with supportive friends and family members.  Trust in that support system to see you threw challenges and celebrate with you (not with food) when over coming the challenges.

You have got this.  This should be the easiest part for you.  You know what you're doing.  You just have to remember why you're doing this and not let the negatives drag you down. 

You've got this

August 2013

August 2015

YOU HAVE GOT THIS

Melissa