How I began

So far my wife and I have posted about our collective journey, so I suppose it only makes sense to talk about how I began to change things.

It came down to one simple change in my mindset, I decided that "I Can Do It" the interesting thing about our mindset is it unfolds into everything we do. Limitations are always something self imposed the most important thing you need to do in order to change your body is to change your way of thinking. We need to first realize that the only thing preventing us from attaining any goal is the decision to say "I can't do it" or "It is too difficult" and a myriad of other self limiting logic.  Step one is always to overcome the internal fear based programming and say "I can".

A human being is an amazing machine. Odd choice of words? At a core we are a survival based machine, in my opinion a rather perfectly designed one. In order to survive our brains make the most fundamental needs pleasurable, its a built in reward system so that we repeat the things that keep us alive. Its a double edged sword, over our lifetimes our experiences shape us to build false associations, we learn to eat for emotional comfort as well as surviving. Boredom, lonliness, stress, nervousness, all of these things in time can become triggers to eat when we aren't actually in need of nourishment, well at least nourishment from food.

Does this indicate we lack self control? Its a difficult question, to answer it involves delving into a lot of science, neuroscience to be more specific. I consider myself to be many things but a neuroscientist I am not, so rather than fake it and get overly technical and likely be completely incorrect I will simplify it completely.

Eating/Nourishment is a basic survival need, in order to ensure that we continue to do it, our brains release "Reward Chemicals" when we do it. Eating is pleasurable, and therefore we will do it again. However, over time we have eaten when we don't need to in order to squash a non nourishment need, once again releasing the "Reward Chemicals". The key thing I personally did over this last year is learn to recognize the difference. At a low level my brain doesn't. It essentially says "Hey reward chemicals, neat that feels nice". It is fortunate for us then that we are capable of thinking, and understanding, thats key to the success.

A big part of what I changed about myself was realizing sometimes "hungry" wasn't "HUNGRY". In a manner of speaking, it was an addicted brain's request for "drugs". Eat, release the "Reward Chemicals".

Overcoming that was difficult at first but it became second nature in time. The biggest part of it was planning my food. Everything that went in to my body was logged and planned. I ate what I was scheduled to, and in time some of the "fake" hungry melted away.

...To Be Continued

A work in progress

Figured since Munkee showed his picture I'd show mine.  I still have a bit more to go but I know that I will get there.  I know this because I have worked hard over the last 13 months to take off the 113 pounds and I will not stop until I reach the appropriate weight for me.  A lot of people have asked how much more I have to go or said "you don't have much more to go".  I have chosen not to confirm an end weight yet for many reasons.  Mainly, I want to see where I am comfortable, where I can maintain and I want to make sure I still look like myself.  It has not always been an easy journey but I have to say the love and support I have gotten from my friends, family and most importantly my husband has made it that much easier.  What I'm hoping to accomplish with this blog is to share my journey, the good, the bad and the ugly and if I can help just one person I will be happy.  Tomorrow I will have to share the story of how my husband tried to feed me his wedding ring!

I dread photographs of myself

This is something I have procrastinated about doing for a while. Many people who know me also know I severely dislike having my photo taken, my wife took the new shot it took several tries before I didn't have a murderous look on my face, my eyes closed or any other photo mishap.

I recognize however due to the nature of this blog, it had to be done. In the before picture I weigh about  270 Pounds, and getting me to smile in a picture was a constant challenge. I think at some level I knew no matter who took the picture I would hate the results, that and of course a little part of my soul would have been stolen. (primitive tribesman humour)

What is nice is seeing the pictures side by side, for me the process was gradual, sure 95 pounds in 6 months for most isn't gradual but I woke up every morning and existed in real time with the changes, so the difference in seeing it all at once is nice.

The after photo (which I waited on till I had a haircut) is me at 175 Pounds which I have now kept within 1-2 pounds either side of for 7 months, and it is also where I will stay.

Its a good reminder of the results of hard work and change

The Adventure So Far - A regular guy's story

So as many may or may not know. Last year in August my wife and I set about making some major lifestyle changes. We both had become shall we say "comfortable" and had become dissatisfied with our bodies. One day something changed and I had a bit of a emotional venting angry at myself moment that we decided would be a good starting point for change.

We set about changing our life completely, how we thought, how we ate, and how much activity we were getting. What was interesting is that it wasn't new year's eve, so it wasn't a "new year's resolution" it was the beginning of a battle cry. We changed what we ate, we started exercising every day, and we started to honestly look at ourselves and our motivations, and make changes for better health both physical and mental.

I am happy to say after just over a year of the new life paradigm everything has changed. I went from 270 pounds to 175, and I have kept at that weight for over 6 months now (and it will never change). My wife thusfar has lost 113 pounds, and is continuing to work hard towards her goal. Our drive hasn't diminished in the slightest.

Its amazing how much this sort of adjustment can impact your way of thinking. I had a job at home depot in the electrical department but I became increasingly frustrated, I felt like I should be doing something more creative, something more interesting, and something more me. So without a concrete plan other than that I (perhaps foolishly) quit my job to persue this with my whole being.

I have always been a lifelong fan of video games, and the idea occurred to me. "Why Not" Many people at this point would say well, you haven't programmed a thing on a computer for 20 years, there is a lot that goes into a videogame, that's precisely why not.

Call it arrogance, call it bravado, or call it foolishness, call it whatever you like. I chose to say "Why the hell not" and jumped in with both feet, I relearned to code from a few books and the internet. Now, 4-5 months after quitting my job I am around 80% done my first game, from the ground up. A one man show probably breaking every rule of development and how its done, and its turning out very well. I didn't run to kickstarter and try and shake down the public for dollars, I just did it worked my tail off and went for it.

I think the lesson for me was nothing happens without that first step, without trying and without an intense amount of struggle. There have been a few that I have shared this with and shown early versions of the game, from the point of me developing an engine, preliminary art, my experiments with music, so to a very small group of you this isn't news. But I thought sharing it with my friendlist as a whole would be a good exercise, partially to remind me how far I have come, partially to demystify some of the more cryptic status messages of recent months.

The lesson I learned is that if you want something you have to attack it, and just keep at it, never give up and never give in. Hopefully when it releases soon it will net me enough to live well, I have no real desire to be rich really just to live well and be able to persue this more creative life.

so in the upcoming months here is stuff to watch for.

a) I will further break my secrecy and start to show off some of what has been done, if for no other reason to be taunted by those closest to me as to "WTF is that"
b) I will converse with anyone who may be able to help, programmers, artists, musicians I know alot of creative people, and what I have learned in the process is I rarely have all the answers and want to make the best thing I can.
c) Unrelated to my video game/creative goals, my Wife and I have started to compile notes about the psychology, dietary changes, and changes to our physical routine that made us conquer the puzzle of weight management. Since we have taken a different path than most and would love to help others we are aiming to compile an E-Book so that others can follow in our path. The Bottom Line is neither of us are Ex-elite atheletes, or food experts, but we did figure out a plan that isn't based on deprivation, or countless hours in a gym, and a mindset to maintain success. We would love to share that with the world, help as many people as we can.

So yeah its quite a book I have written here, and if you read it fantastic and thank you for hearing me out

Stay Tuned

So for the past year my husband (Munkee) and I (Bee) have been on a quest to get healthier and we thought it might be a good idea to share our journey with others.  We are new to blogging so give us a bit of time to get the hang of this and we will share with you all we have learned in the last year.